Potty Training Tips for Children
Potty training is a meaningful milestone for any child, and each family’s experience is wonderfully unique. This collaborative blog post combines the neurodiversity-informed perspectives of a pediatric Occupational Therapist and a pediatric Speech Language Pathologist who offer valuable tips to support the transition from diapers or pull-ups to independence in bathroom hygiene!
The Importance of Communication in Potty Training
Communication is an essential part of potty training. It’s how children express their needs, understand the process, and connect their actions to new words and routines. For some children, learning to recognize their body’s signals and communicate these new feelings may require additional time or individualized support – this provides a beautiful opportunity to foster language development in a meaningful and impactful way.
The Importance of Sensory Processing in Potty Training
Whether it’s bright lights reflecting off mirrors, the sound of a toilet flushing, the unexpected smells…there is a lot of sensory input all in a little space! For individuals who have sensory processing differences, this can be a daunting space to be in. Sensory processing difficulties can impact discrimination (our actions in response to sensory input) modulation (or the way our nervous system reacts to input to keep us safe) or registration (the way our body takes in input from the environment and our bodies).
Before we begin, here are some terms to know:
Registration:
If you are having difficulties registering input, you might also be having a hard time registering when you need to go to the bathroom. We have a sensory system called interoception which is how our nervous system registers when we are hungry, thirsty, or need to use the restroom. If this system is under-responsive, it can be difficult to know when you need to use the bathroom in time to avoid an accident.
Modulation:
Modulation difficulties can involve hyper-responsivity to input and hypo-responsivity. If you are hyper-responsive, the bathroom input can be overwhelming and may cause a lot of anxiety that negatively impacts potty training. Between the sights, sounds, and smells- the bathroom can be overwhelming for any of us!
Multimodal Communication:
Individuals can use verbal speech, sign language, Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) devices, facial expressions, gestures, and so much more to express themselves! Multimodal Communication is used daily by most people without realizing it! It occurs when individuals utilize two or more methods to convey a message to others.
SETTING THE STAGE FOR POTTY TRAINING
1. When to Potty Train
We always hear, “your child will tell you when they are ready” and it seems cliche but it’s true! If your child is letting you know (in any capacity) that their diaper is soiled, or if they are communicating that they need to go before soiling their diaper, these are good indicators they might be ready to potty train. If your child is going through the night, or most of the night, without soiling their diaper this is also a sign that they may be ready. Children often start potty training between 18-36 months of age, but developmental, sensory processing, and other factors can influence this so it is most important to go at your own child’s pace! Remember, kids can potty train in one weekend, or over the course of months. They get to the same goal at the end!
2. Predictable Routines
Kids thrive on routines, and potty training is no exception. Consistency creates trust and gives children confidence as they know what to expect. Setting regular times for bathroom breaks, such as after meals or before bedtime, can make the process feel seamless. Pairing routines with simple, positive language, like, “It’s potty time!” or “Time to wash our hands now,” reinforces understanding and keeps the experience light and encouraging.
3. Visual Supports
Visual supports, such as picture schedules or simple diagrams, are wonderful tools to create clarity and predictability. By teaching the sequence of potty routines visually, you give children something consistent and tangible to refer to, making each step feel more achievable. For instance, you might show pictures or symbols representing each step, such as pulling down pants, sitting on the potty, flushing, and washing hands. Reviewing these visuals together helps build understanding and can also reduce overwhelm by breaking tasks into smaller, easier-to-grasp pieces.
4. Start the Conversation
Read books, watch children’s programs geared towards potty training, and talk about it! Practice “frontloading” and demonstrate elements of the potty training process for your child. Explore the bathroom with your kids, explain what the different faucets do, have them practice flushing the toilet, model how to use the toilet, and more. Potty training is going to involve a lot of talk about poop and pee and our bodies, and it’s important to talk about it! Remember that the bathroom and the process of having a bowel movement or urination itself can cause anxiety for children, and exploring the steps involved before asking your child to use the potty is important. We want to take the anxiety out of the process for our kids and ourselves.
5. Start Small
When you make the decision to potty train, whether it’s in one weekend or over time, start small. We often encourage parents to take a soiled diaper and have the child help them put the poop into the toilet and flush it away. This helps build the connection between going potty and the big toilet. Then graduate to trying to sit on the toilet on a regular schedule. Bring books, coloring materials, toys, a device, or whatever your child needs to sit for a few minutes.
CURATING THE POTTY TRAINING ENVIRONMENT
1. Manage Fluid Intake
If you are trying to potty train in one weekend, you may consider encouraging more fluid intake to increase the opportunity for practicing. This may be the time to break out the juice or the flavored water. Conversely, if you are going out to run errands and are not planning on using pull ups or diapers, make sure to pay attention to how much they are drinking and time your outings accordingly.
2. The Toilet & Postural Supports
For many children, not only is the bathroom an intimidating place, but the toilet itself can also be tricky too. Often, we hear “they will use the training potty but won’t go on the regular toilet” or “They won’t sit down to have a bowel movement”. This could be related to postural control difficulties! The toilet design requires postural control to remain stable on it, especially for tiny bottoms! This can make transitioning to the big potty really daunting for kids. It is so important to make sure your child feels physically secure on the toilet. Using a toilet seat cover with sides or arm rests can be extremely beneficial, as well as using one with a step up that supports the feet. It’s important that the feet have a firm base of support so that the child’s focus is on going potty, not trying to stay on the toilet.
3. Environmental Adaptations
Start potty training at home, and make adaptations to the environment as needed. Whether it’s dimming the lights, bringing in a projector, playing music, adding a diffuser, or something else entirely, we encourage you to add or remove anything your child needs to feel comfortable.
4. Add in Heavy Work
Adding in proprioceptive activities to your day can help with regulation and core strength. Animal walks (e.g. crab walking or bear walks), pushing and pulling heavy things, climbing and crashing, etc. are all good activities that incorporate proprioceptive input. Check out this post/blog with more proprioceptive activity ideas!
SUPPORTING COMMUNICATION DURING POTTY TRAINING
1. Expanding Vocabulary
Potty training is a great time to build vocabulary in an authentic and natural context. New words like “potty,” “pants,” “wet,” and “dry” can be introduced through daily routines, paired with visual cues, AAC, or hand signs if your child uses multimodal communication. For example, every time you take your child to the bathroom, calmly model saying the word “potty” while pointing to the toilet or using a related sign. Over time, your child will begin to connect their actions and feelings with words, creating meaningful progress in their language skills.
2. Celebrate Communication in All Forms
One of the most beautiful parts of potty training is watching how children find ways to communicate their needs. This doesn’t have to be verbal. Some children might point to a visual schedule, use gestures, may bring you a picture or even use a communication device indicating it’s time. Celebrate these moments wholeheartedly, as each is a step toward greater independence and confidence. By focusing on ways to support communication, we can ensure that potty training is not just about the end goal but also about empowering children to grow and express themselves in ways that work best for them. Every success, whether big or small, is a moment worth celebrating!
3. Social Stories
Social stories are another way to create positive reinforcement and understanding around potty training. These short, child-friendly narratives describe potty routines in a way that’s concrete, kind, and engaging. A social story might include phrases like, “When my tummy feels full, I know it’s time to go potty. I go to the bathroom, sit on the potty, and when I’m done, I feel proud and clean!” Reading a social story regularly builds familiarity and helps a child visualize their success even before it happens.
EMBRACING THE LEARNING PROCESS
1. Build on the Little Wins
The first step is just peeing a little bit in the toilet. Celebrate your child and ensure they make the connection between using the bathroom and a positive experience! We want to promote the idea that using the potty is a positive, rewarding, and encouraged action.
2. Check in on Yourself
We are the co-regulators for our kids. If you are getting frustrated, then your child will probably have a negative experience around using the bathroom even if nothing went wrong. Do whatever you need to support yourself during this process too. It’s a challenge for both kids and parents. Make sure you’re eating, taking breaks, and doing what you need to support yourself!
Potty training is a unique journey for every child and family. By understanding the role of communication, sensory processing, and creating a supportive environment tailored to your child’s needs, you can build confidence and make this milestone a positive experience for everyone. Remember, celebrating small victories and staying patient are key to success. With insights from both an Occupational Therapist and a Speech-Language Pathologist, these strategies are designed to support your child’s development every step of the way.
Looking for more tips and tools? Take a look at our ebooks for more training resource guides! You can also contact us today to explore how we can provide personalized support!
SHOLEH SHAHINFAR
M.A. CCC-SLP, RYT
Sholeh Shahinfar is the Founder of Valued Voices, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, Child Communication Specialist and Certified Oral Motor Therapist. She is passionate about uplifting children’s voices in the world and inspiring self-expression. In her free time, Sholeh embraces a vegan lifestyle, loves going to the ocean, exploring nature with her pup Kobe, practicing yoga, traveling, and spending time with her loved ones.
KAELYN GREEN
Kaelyn Green is a licensed occupational therapist at Valued Voices. She is certified by the University of Southern California in Sensory Integration and is an advocate for addressing underlying sensory functioning in order to improve occupational performance. She is passionate about meeting children and families where they are at and seeks to tailor interventions to the unique needs of her clients. When she is not working, you will find Kaelyn taking care of her two goldendoodles, working in her garden, or taking trips to the Central Coast.
TAYLOR LASKY
Taylor is a speech-language pathologist who empowers clients and their families through an upbeat, welcoming, and family-focused approach that builds confidence. Holding an M.S. from Chapman University, she draws on her educational, clinical, and personal experience to make a daily impact. Passionate about early intervention, Taylor uses play-based, individualized sessions—never one-size-fits-all—blending fun with functional goals and each client’s strengths and interests. Outside the clinic, she enjoys reading at the beach, long walks with her dog Sadie, trying new workouts at the gym, and planning her next road trip over coffee.
